need you now

NEED YOU NOW

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor,
Reachin for the phone cause i cant fight it anymore,
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time,

(Chorus)
It's a quarter after one, im all alone and I need you now
I said i wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now
And i dont know how I can do without, I just need you now

Another shot of whisky cant stop lookin at the door
Wishin you'd come sweepin in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,
For me it happens all the time..

(Chorus)
Its a quarter after one im a little drunk and I need you now
I said i wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I dont know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all...

Its a quarter after one im all alone and I need you now,
and I said I wouldnt call but im a little drunk and I need you now
and I dont know how I can do without,
I just need you now
I just need you now

Oh baby I need you now

*****************************************

I need you now...

I wonder if I ever cross your mind. Ever. Have you completely blocked me from your memory? Have you put me in a box and placed me on the shelf... or even further away? How could you tell me you love me, and then so easily forget me? Why tell me you love me when you knew you would leave me? The pain you caused is finally easing, and now only comes in giant waves that crash around me instead of the constant torrential beating downpour like rain during a storm. The kind of love shared was like that of a movie...beautiful, perfect, but never meant to be. I look back and wish I would have chosen differently because there are days that I cannot see past you, my mistake... or see past the dull ache and loss. I would rather have continued living my life not knowing you than to have you always in the shadows of my mind.

And then there are days that I am thankful for the moment of you and I, and am grateful for the life lesson. There are days that I feel hopeful and anticipate love again... as quickly as hope comes, it, too, leaves. And I am again left with the overwhelming feeling of never being the same, never letting myself love or be loved, and of feeling like i'm standing in the desert, desperate for renewal.

I wonder, if I run then will I ever out-run this feeling? Will I ever feel whole, or able to love and be loved in return? Will I break free of this downward spirally abyss that I can't pull myself out of? I've looked back at all these wasted years, and have realized the pattern of my mistakes.

Always choosing the hard path.

Will I ever be on a different path?